The Ghoul Pool

2009-01-15T18:21:00.000-08:00

PURRRRFECTLY DEAD!

Eartha Kitt, the actress and cabaret singer known for her version of "Santa Baby" died on Christmas Day. Apparently God hurried down the chimney that night. Eartha now resides 6 feet beneath the Earth.

Congratulations to Dan who receives 19 Points.

19 Points

2009-01-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

WRATH OF GOD

Smiles everyone, smiles. Ricardo Montalban is dead. Will his casket be lined with rich, corinthian leather? The world may never know.

Congratulations to Tom who gains 12 points as Montalban was 88 years old.

12 Points

2008-09-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

COLD HAND LUKE

The salad days are over for Paul Newman who lost his own battle with cancer as God has issued his final verdict. Known for his steely blue eyes and his incredible charity efforts, including the Hole-In-The-Wall Gang, Newman will now head to a hole in the ground. He is survived by his wife and five children who are now busy dressing him for the funeral service. And now, Newman knows what it's like to be a dead man behind blue eyes.

Congratulations to Tom DeVries and Terence who each earn 17 points since Newman was 83-years-old.

17 Points

2008-08-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

SHAFTED

Isaac Hayes, famous for his work on the 1970s blacksploitation film Shaft, as well as the voice of Chef on South Park, has cooked his last batch of chocolate salty balls. Apparently God said, "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka."

He was 66 years old.

0 Points

2008-08-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

MacDeath

In times of grief, we turn to "the bard's" prose from MacBeth to try to understand the untimely death of Bernard McCullough...

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death.

Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more.

0 Points

2008-07-25T10:07:00.001-07:00

CLASS DISMISSED

Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon University professor who gained internet notoriety for his "Last Lecture" has taken a permanent sabbatical as he finally lost control of his "faculties." Assuming he had a tumor the size of a "mellon" he handled it like a Tigger even though the fates treated him like Eeyore.

The team of Andrea/Meredith "school" their fellow ghoul poolers with a whopping 53 points to take the overall lead in the 2008-09 Ghoul Pool. This is also the first time anyone in Ghoul Pool history scored two deaths in one week.

53 Points

To view Pausch's last lecture, click on the link below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BODHsU3hDo4

2008-07-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

GETTY GONER

Estelle Getty, the actress best known for playing the sarcastic Sophia on The Golden Girls will be in heaven in time for the early bird special. Getty died from dementia so her "Golden Years" weren't so golden. She also had Parkinson's disease but thanks to the Alzheimer's, she forgot about the Parkinsons. In recent years, Getty's children had to alert nursing staff to avoid providing certain medications, proclaiming, "Stop Or My Mom Will Poop."

Congratulations to Lisa Mastronardi for her first ever death and to the Andrea/Meredith team for scoring again. And now, with the anticipated death of noted dying college professor Randy Pausch, they can take over the lead from Dr. & Mrs. Death.

16 Points

2008-07-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

RIP Bobby Murcer

Bobby Murcer, the long time Yankee player and announcer, lost his battle with cancer today. Things weren't OK for the guy from OK. But he fought the disease a lot better than he fought the Red Sox in the photo above. Godspeed Bobby. Say hello to Thurman and The Mick. And let them know that things are different back on earth. The Red Sox are the new kings of baseball.

0 Points (Ineligible)

2008-07-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

SNOW'ED UNDER

Tony Snow, the former White House press secretary and conservative television journalist, has succumbed to cancer. Doctor's have cancelled the press briefing on his recovery and instead issued this statement...

"Oh the cancer inside was frightful
And the guy was so delightful
But since the cancer just wouldn't go
It killed Tony Snow, Tony Snow, Tony Snow"

An accomplished musican, Snow played in a local Washington, D.C. band called "Beats Workin." Doesn't beat livin.

A tough week for conservatives with Snow and Jesse Helms leaving the GOP. Rush Limbaugh better not walk under any pianos.

Congratulations to Dr. & Mrs. Death Cohen, Andrea/Meredith and Terence who each receive 47 Points since Snow was 53 years old. A snow job by all.

47 Points

2008-07-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

HELMS DEEP

Jesse Helms, the North Carolina Senator and King of the conservatives couldn't rally in Raleigh.

The "Helms Deep" headline is a reference to the Middle Earth Valley in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of The Rings series. Helms In Hell has a nice ring to it as there will be no Return of The King.

Congratulations to Andrew Yorke who gains his first Ghoul Pool death with 14 points since Helms was 86 years old.

14 Points

2008-06-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

INDECENT DISPOSAL

Fuck! The joke's on George Carlin, the counterculture comedian, who apparently ran out of over-the-counter heart medication and has told his last joke. I shit you not. The cocksucker was infamous for his "seven words you can never say on television," which made a lot of folks piss their pants. But now Carlin can add every word to that list. The star of over a dozen specials on Home Box Office, the network which shows women's tits, Carlin should be comfortable in a box - a pine box that is, not a cunt, you dirty motherfucker. He was 71 years old.

0 Points

2008-06-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

DEAD MEET

Tim Russert, the long-time host of Meet The Press will not be hosting NBC's Election coverage this Fall. A native of Buffalo, New York, he shuffled off today from a heart attack. The angels in heaven reportedly gave him Buffalo Wings. He was 58.

** I have never had a follow-up to a fauxbituary but Russert's death requires an exception be made. Not since the death of Ronald Reagan has one person's death received so much attention (and Reagan was the greatest President since FDR). Why? Who was Tim Russert? Pope? President? Discovered cancer cure? Nope, he was a reporter, perhaps a good one, and rumpled television moderator. That's it! He also was a disloyal, transparent fella who showed no loyalty to Don Imus despite constantly shilling his book on Imus' show then promptly throwing him under the bus after Imus' inappropriate comments - which Imus had made a living on for 30 years! Must have been a big surprise to Russert. Loyalty, apparently, was not a featured topic in Big Russ & Me. Russert was reportedly a big Springsteen fan, so he couldn't be too bad a guy but geez, no soldiers, 9-11 victims or even Harvey Korman received this much posthumous attention.

0 Points

2008-06-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

HE'S ALL GONE

It's the agony of defeat for Jim McKay, the long-time host of ABC's Wide World Of Sports. McKay, who also announced the deaths of 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics, died of natural causes at the age of 86. While funeral arrangements will be private, his ashes will reportedly span the globe.

0 Points

2008-06-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

Bo Goes

Bo Diddley, one of the pioneers of Rock & Roll and known for the "Bo Diddley Beat" died today when his heart stopped beating. His first hit was "I'm A Man" but that's just not the case anymore as he faded away this morning. Born Ellas Otha Bates, Diddley now goes to the "Otha" side.

0 Points

2008-05-29T17:32:00.000-07:00

Up The Gazoo

Harvey Korman, the hilarious comedic actor and voice of The Great Gazoo will soon hit bedrock after dying today from complications from a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm (also known as a Blazing Saddle). Ironically, Korman's signature bit on The Carol Burnett Show was "As the Stomach Turns." Korman was 81.

0 Points

2008-05-27T04:03:00.000-07:00

THE WAY HE WAS

Academy Award-winning director Sydney Pollack, who achieved critical acclaim with the period drama "Out of Africa" will now go down under. Sydney, who also directed 'The Way We Were" and the romantic comedy "Tootsie,"

received acclaim for directing Paul Newman in "Absence Of Malice," but it was an absence of a cure that led to Pollack's death from cancer. He won't live to "Havana" other day.

Dr. & Mrs. Death Cohen as well as the Slim Reaper both earn 27 points since Pollack was 73 years old.

27 Points

2008-05-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

Say goodnight, Dick

Well, we have our first "dick-out" in the Ghoul Pool with the passing of Dick Martin, who co-created and co-hosted Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, a show which forever changed the face of television died today of respiratory failure. When trying to cough up terrible muckus, nurses appealed to him to "hock it to me." He was 86 years old and laughed-out.

0 Points

2008-05-07T06:43:00.001-07:00

Here's The Scoop

Irvine Robbins, founding partner of Baskin-Robbins has died. Shortly before he died, Robbins was said to be working on several new flavors to add to the original 31. Rumored flavors included, Coffin Crunch, Very Berry Dead and Cone of Eternal Silence. His ashes will be sprinkled somewhere in California. Suffering from heart disease for many years, living to 90 was icing on the cake. He will be buried not frozen.

0 Points

2008-04-06T04:48:00.000-07:00

FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDSI guess it's safe to take his gun now. Academy Award winning actor and gun enthusiast Charlton Heston has escaped from the planet of the apes. God finally did it and let this person go. Heston, who in later years suffered from prostate cancer went from Ben Hur to bend over. But fortuntately, he developed Alzheimer's disease so he forgot about the prostate cancer, according to his personal physician - Dr. Zaius.

Congratulations to Mr. C., Tom DeVries and the Slim Reaper who each earn 16 points since Heston was 84 years old.

16 Points

2008-03-05T15:20:00.000-08:00

SWAYZE SIGNS ON FOR GHOST 2

A U.S. publication is reporting that Patrick Swayze has just five weeks to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January. Apparently, the cancer has spread like the wind. After he dies, you can be sure that nobody will put his body in a corner.

2008-03-02T05:23:00.000-08:00

DAVE CLARK FOUR

Mike Smith, lead singer of British Invasion group, The Dave Clark Five is dead. After a devastating spinal cord injury in 2003, he was paralyzed from the waist down and wasn't "glad all over" for nearly 5 years. In fact, he couldn't even feel his "bits and pieces" even though he tried "over and over."

Smith had recently been admitted to the hospital with pneumonia like symptoms and doctors told him that they would "catch it if they can," "if you got what it takes." When he died, his family was "at the scene."

0 Points

2008-02-27T16:51:00.000-08:00

BUCK STOPS HERE
After a careful review, we can officially announce the death of William F. Buckley. Buckley was 82 years old but looked at least 90, conservatively speaking. He will presumably be buried next to his wife of 56 years Patricia - on the right, of course.

0 Points

2008-02-16T06:46:00.000-08:00

Gotta Go...

The store has closed for William Modell, patriarch of the Modell's sporting goods chain. Modell leaves after many years of battling Crohn's disease. Doctors had given him a sporting chance to live for many more years but, apparently, God took him just for the sport of it. He was a good sport until the very end and doctor's say that can't be discounted. He was 86 years old.

0 Points

2008-02-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

GROH NO!

David Groh, who starred as Rhoda Morgenstern's husband on the 70's show "Rhoda" has died of kidney cancer. He was a regular on General Hospital from 1983-85 and a regular at his local hospital from 2006 until his death. Most recently, Groh appeared in a commercial for Sour Skittles (guess leaving Rhoda after just two seasons really paid-off). After Rhoda, he was offered another series, "Another Day." Sadly, there won't be another day for Groh.

0 Points

2008-02-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

HOLOCOUGH

Rep. Tom Lantos of California, the only Holocaust survivor to serve in Congress, has died, his spokeswoman said Monday. Lantos, 80, died from cancer of the esophagus.

And that means that Dr. & Mrs. Death Cohen are on the board with 20 points for our first death of the 2008 Ghoul Pool Season. Congratulations.

20 Points

2008-02-11T05:53:00.000-08:00

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Box

Roy Scheider, who starred as the police chief in Jaws is dead at 75. Battling cancer for months, the sharks had been circling for the last few days. His family will be making funeral plans and all that jazz over the next few days

0 Points

2008-02-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

AND THEY'RE OFF....

2008 Ghoul Pool Officially Underway!

Congratulations to Rich Treta, the winner of the 2007 Ghoul Pool

2008-01-22T14:45:00.001-08:00

WHERE DO YOU GO TO HIDE YOUR HEATH?

Looks like six-feet under for Heath Ledger, the star of the upcoming Batman series as The Joker. If this is a joke, it's a good one. But it turns out that while Ennis couldn't quit Jack, good ol' Heath could quit life and this Brokeback Mountain star got it in the end.
He was 28 years old and could have been huge points for someone but alas, nobody skored with Heath.0 Points

2008-01-21T07:14:00.000-08:00

GOODNIGHT BOB

Suzanne Pleshette, the beautiful, husky-voiced star of the 70s sitcom "The Bob Newhart Show" has died of respiratory failure. Imagine how husky her voice sounded at the end!

She was 70.

0 Points

2008-01-19T19:53:00.000-08:00

DEAD MEAT

Allan Melvin, the famed character actor, best known for his role as Sam The Butcher on "The Brady Bunch" has gone to the great meat-cutters ball in the sky.

In addition to his role on the Brady Bunch, Melvin was also known for his voiceover work on many Hanna Barbara cartoons of the 1970s. When asked by Melvin what type of cancer he had, his doctor's apparently replied, "the whole magilla."

His wife reported that Melvin's last words suggested that he was ready to "meat his maker."

0 Points

2008-01-18T06:07:00.000-08:00

CHECK MATE

Bobby Fischer, the chess master who gained notoriety and became a Cold War icon for beating Russian chess master Borris Spassky just got rooked.

United States-born Fischer, a fierce critic of his homeland who renounced his U.S. citizenship, moved to Iceland in 2005 and became a pawn in a political drama.

0 Points

2008-01-05T09:35:00.001-08:00

2008 GHOUL POOL

ROSTERS DUE BY SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!!!!

E-mail tpr67@msn.com

Refer A Friend!

See Rules Top Right

2007-12-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

PAK MAN FEVER

Benazir Bhutto, the Pakistani opposition leader, was assasinated today. She was 54 years-old. Sadly, Bhutto cannot insert another quarter to get three more lives. Let's see if Super Musharaf can survive Donkejihad Kong next.

Click here for disturbing video of Ms. Pak Man's murder..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94tGQUab8hI

0 Points

2007-12-17T14:24:00.000-08:00

SOFT, er DEAD ROCK

It won't be the "same old lang syne" for the Fogelberg family as they lost Dan to prostate cancer although the exact cause of death is "hard to say." His band will need a new leader and not even the "power of gold" could save the 70s era soft rocker. His last album, "Full Circle," was rather prescient. Fogelberg was 56.

0 Points

2007-12-13T06:13:00.000-08:00

WHAT'S LIFE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Ike Turner's big wheel has stopped turning. The rock & roll bad boy and former abusive husband of Tina Turner left a good job in the city today but despite his wife beating and criminal history, many still liked Ike. Unlike his latest CD release, however, Ike won't be "Risin With The Blues," tomorrow.

He was 76.

0 Points

2007-11-30T14:27:00.000-08:00

What In The Wide, Wide, World Of Sports Is Going On Here?

Evel Knievel, the pop culture icon of the 1970s and frequent guest on ABC's Wide World Of Sports, jumped on his Sky Cycle and made his final leap into the great beyond. Unlike his failed attempt to jump the Snake River, he did successfully cross the River Styx to meet the original DareDevil and will now ride forever with the Hells Angels.

But it's Rich Treta who jumps into the Ghoul Pool lead with just 2 months remaining and grabs 31 points for the passing of the 69-year-old Knievel.

Viva Knievel!

31 Points

2007-11-26T14:07:00.000-08:00

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Kevin DuBrow, lead singer for 80s hair-metal band Quiet Riot has unplugged. The Clark County coroner's office says he "banged his head" and that his "condition was critical" for several hours. Medical personnel on the scene claimed he was unresponsive when they asked him to "cum on feel the noize."

He was 52 years old.

0 Points

2007-11-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

PLEASE DON'T SQUEEZE THE COFFIN

Fans across the globe are bowled over at the passing of Dick Wilson, better known to millions as Mr. Whipple from the classic Charmin commercials. Wilson had been sick for many years and had recently told family that he was "wiped." Butt remember, great toilet paper salesman never die, they just roll away. He will be buried in Flushing.

0 Points

2007-11-17T09:50:00.001-08:00

MARTHA STEWART'S MOM

NO LONGER LIVING

Martha Kostyra, otherwise known as Martha Stewart's mother, has died. And that's not a good thing. Anyone else anxious to see what Martha serves at the wake? Death by chocolate?

0 Points

2007-11-10T06:48:00.000-08:00

NORMAN MAILER...

...RHYMES WITH

RENAL FAILURE

Norman Mailer, the prolific American writer, was found "naked and dead" as the "executioner's song" played in the background.

Doctors said something was wrong in the "belly of the beast" as a rapid loss of renal function led to this Norman conquest.

So the "tough guy won't dance anymore" despite his sixth wife's proclamation that the 84-year-old Mailer was, "always moving, always thinking."

Well, not anymore.

0 Points

2007-11-06T16:10:00.001-08:00

She Worked Hard For The Moolah

Mary Lillian Ellison, whose flying drop kicks, flying head scissors and hair-pulling “flying mare” body slams brought her renown as the professional wrestler "The Fabulous Moolah," dropped dead at 84.

Now, the woman who ruled the "square circle" will be found in a rectangle box. Rumors persist that WWF wrestling legend "The Undertaker" was on-hand to witness her fall to the mat of life.

And so, while wrestling was fake, her death is most certainly real.

0 Points

2007-10-30T16:53:00.001-07:00

Lancelot Must Have Smoked A Lot

Robert Goulet, the star of stage and screen died today of interstitial pulmonary fibrosis. Could it be that he favored Camels - a lot?

Goulet gained fame for his show-stopping ballad "If Ever I Would Leave You," from Camelot. Today, it turned out to be a heart stopping number as he did leave after failing to get a lung transplant. He was 74 years old.

0 Points

2007-10-30T16:26:00.000-07:00

No, not that chef.

This chef...

To paraphrase the immortal Rufus w/ Chaka Khan...

"Tell Me Something Good. Tell Me I'm Not Dying, Yeah!"

Chef Tell dead at 63.

And now he'll have a recurring role on Hell's Kitchen!

0 Points

2007-10-18T16:28:00.001-07:00

Joey Bishop, the last living member of the "Rat Pack" is dead. The hell-raising comedian, who starred in "The Naked And the Dead" was found exactly the same way by his family. Sadly, the legendary stand-up was laying down. Known by his peers as "the Frown Prince," death didn't exactly help change his facial expression.

In an odd bit of cosmic timing, on the same day that Bishop dropped, The Sands Atlantic City hotel and casino, the long-time East Coast hangout for the "Rat Pack" also fell.

Mr. C. & Rich Treta each score Ocean's-11 points since Bishop was 89-years old.

11 Points

2007-10-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

IS THERE ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE???

A slow week for celebrity deaths and since this is the Ghoul Pool, it can't promise you life everlasting but it can promise you life, right now! And to prove it (all night), here's some cool video of my two girls rockin out at their first Bruce Springsteen concert on 10/9/07.

2007-10-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

GOD TAKES AN OERTER TO GO....

Al Oerter, the 4 time Olympic champion has died at 71-years-old.

0 Points

2007-09-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

NOW METS FANS KNOW WHY THEIR TEAM HAS A BRIDGE IN THEIR LOGO...

(CLICK BELOW)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwpDqyRSyt4

2007-09-23T07:01:00.001-07:00

SILENT BUT DEADLY

Legendary mime, Marcel Marceau has died at 84. In tribute, mimes across the world will have a moment of silence today. Sadly, observers won't know the difference. Now, Marceau will have plenty of time to perfect the tired, "stuck in a box" routine. Ferme votre bouche ennuyant.

0 Points

2007-09-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

SOMERS OVER

First it was Charles Nelson Reilly, now it's Brett Somers.

Richard Dawson and Betty White better not walk under any pianos this year as

Match Game '07 is apparently a death match.

Somer's made her Broadway debut in "Maybe Tuesday" and last week when her family asked how long she had to live, her doctor replied, "Maybe Monday."

Her former husband, Jack Klugman, is said to be speechless.

According to her wishes, the family will bury her in the top row of the cemetary in the center.

She was 83 years old.

0 Points

2007-09-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

THE FAT LADY SINGS FOR LEGENDARY TENOR...

This Luciano wasn't so lucky! Luciano Pavarotti, the legendary opera singer has succumbed to pancreatic cancer and now we're down to only two tenors. He was 79 years old.

The rotund tenor, known for his impeccable tone, died in Modena, Italy. Ironic that his body is now funky and cold in Modena, perhaps inspired by another singer with impeccable tone....Tone-Loc.

As legend has it, Pavarotti once hit nine high C's during a classic performance. Unfortunately, he also had nine twinkies too.

Dr & Mrs. Death as well as Dan both tallied 29 points for the dead opera star who will finally start to lose some weight.

Arrivederci Fatso!

29 Points

2007-08-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

Here's The Throw

Here's The Play At The Plate

Holy Cow, I Don't Think He's Gonna Make It...

I'll Be Home Soon Cora!

Phil Rizzutto, the Hall-of Fame Yankee shortstop best known for his "play-by-play" on Meat Loaf's classic "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" died today. The man, nicknamed Scooter, had been "praying for the end of time" for several months since he didn't think he could "really survive" in a New Jersey nursing home.

Known for his love of Italian pastry and leaving Yankee games early to beat the bridge traffic to see his wife Cora, the Scooter was 89-years-old. At least now, he'll get to "sleep on it."

And even this long-time Yankee hater admits to getting just a little bit sad about Rizzutto's passing.

Congratulations to Rich, Kevin, Eduardo and Dr. & Mrs. Death Cohen for correctly predicting Scooter's demise.

11 Points

2007-08-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A BOWEL?

Merv Griffin, the talk show host turned entertainment mogul, couldn't solve the PRcSTcE CcNCcR puzzle.

Griffin, who created both Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy was 82-years-old and lost in final jeopardy.

If you can believe it, Griffin had a #1 hit with "I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts." At the end, however, his nuts weren't so lovely.

0 Points

2007-07-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

HEAVEN NOW RUNS THE WEST COAST OFFENSE

CLICK ON IMAGE TO SEE GOD'S COACHING STAFF ORG CHART

Bill Walsh, the coach of the San Francisco 49er teams of the 1980s has died. Known by many as a football architect, due to his varied offensive schemes and play-scripting, he couldn't have scripted dying at 75. Unfortunately, Joe Montana and Dwight Clark weren't around to save his ass this time. Walsh, left quite a legacy with many of his assistant coaches going on to productive years but none finer than this dead 49er.

But "the death" garners Terence 25 points to help him take the lead over Mr. C.

25 Points - Terence

2007-07-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

FAYE-D AWAY...

Old, crazy televangelists don't die, they just Faye'd away. Tammy Faye Messner, the wacko Christian televangelist and former wife of PTL leader Jim Bakker, has succumbed to cancer and somewhere Larry King weeps. Apparently PTL stands for "Pray Tammy Leaves." While the official diagnosis was colon cancer, doctors suspect ink poisoning from years of heavy mascara.

Her poorly named book "I Will Survive...And You Will Too," won't exactly be flying of store shelves now that she, well...didn't survive. Frank Zappa was right, because when she got to heaven's gate, he was waiting and told him that "yup, Jesus thinks you're a jerk."

Curiously, and perhaps, ironically, the song playing in the hospital when she finally passed is rumored to have been REM's "Crush With Eyeliner"

0 Points

2007-07-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

GOD GETS THE BIRD!

The first death goes to a first lady!!!

Lady Bird is a Dead Duck. Former first-lady Lady Bird Johnson will go to the great society in the sky and join her beloved LBJ in neither seeking or accepting life. Lady Bird was 94-years-old. Congratulations to Mr. C who correctly chose Lady Bird and receives 6 points to have the first death in 2007.

Mr. C - 6 Points

2007-07-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

MET Her Match

Well, it ain't over till the fat lady sings, but lung cancer made it kind of difficult for her to even clear her throat. Beverly Sills, the famous Metropolitan opera star battled cancer admirably (in a Viking helmet) but finally Die Fledermaused yesterday. In her honor, millions fell asleep at the Opera yesterday.

0 Points

2007-06-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

CURTAINS for ROD

Rod Beck, curiously nicknamed "shooter" has died alone in Arizona. Unfortunately, he won't rise like a phoenix since he died in Phoenix. But the former Giants, Cubs and Red Sox closer, known for his fumanchu and portly stature will be missed. Sadly, when he tried to continue living, he blew the save.

0 Points

2007-06-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

Keep On Creamin On

Frank White, the man whose likeness has been on the Cream of Wheat box for over a century, died (in an instant) - in 1938! But his alleged ancestors, perhaps, looking for a big payday from a recent sale to B&G, suddenly have decided to mark his grave nearly 70 years posthumously.

No doubt, a relative named Kareem is behind this plot. Somewhere, Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima weep!

0 Points

2007-05-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

Charles Nelson Reilly,

gay funnyman and long-time Match Game panelist has died of _BLANK_

We'll always remember him for his oversized glasses and ascots, his work on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Lidsville and of course, Match Game. But I'll always remember him for being imitated so brilliantly by Alec Baldwin on SNL. In a word...scrumtralecent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcMbaS3lvyo

0 Points

2007-05-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

GIVE ME LIBERTY..

OR GIVE ME DEATH...

Jerry Falwell, the television minister and founder of Liberty University as well as the Moral Majority, was officially born again today as he was found unresponsive on campus.

According to University officials, he was in good spirits at breakfast, but could it be that the ultra-conservative minister, who rallied against the homosexual community, was actually killed by the "rooty-tooty, fresh n' fruity" breakfast of which he ate a "majority" this morning?

Falwell, who was "conservatively" listed at 250 lbs, began his ministry in Southern tent revivals but, ironically, could not be revived himself by paramedics. As EMT personnel arrived they found Falwell in a corner, in the spotlight, losing his religion.

0 Points

2007-04-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

Aloha Means Goodbye

This week it's a "sappy-headed Ho" in the news as legendary Hawaiian entertainer Don Ho, famous for his song "Tiny Bubbles" saw his bubble burst. If only he had returned the idol to the sacred burial grounds... it's been trouble ever since that ho Jan Brady found it at Kipula Construction. He was 76.

o Points

2007-04-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

WHEEL IN THE SKY

Darryl Stingley, the former New England Patriots wide receiver paralyzed in a game nearly 30 years ago by Jack "The Assasin" Tatum has run his last fly pattern. He was 55.

0 Points

2007-04-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

RAMBLING AFTER GRAMBLING?

Mr. Robinson Has A New Neighborhood

Alzheimer's claims legendary Grambling coach Eddie Robinson. At his Alabama nursing home, the winningest coach in college football history could often be found rambling about his glory days at Grambling. After a lifetime of fighting racism and segregation, Alzheimer's helped him forget about it all. He was 88.

0 Points

2007-03-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

After Pakistan Chokes

So Does Their Coach

Kingston, Jamaica - Bob Woolmer's death clearly gives new meaning to the term "dismissal of batsman." Woolmer, the legendary batsman and coach of Pakistan's national cricket team was found strangled after his club's World Cup loss in Kingston.

Clearly, he Jamaica mistaka by coaching the Pakistanis instead of staying in South Africa. His players were said to be "bowled" over by his life being "over." At least he'll miss monsoon season. Whoever strangled him, clearly had "no-balls."

The good news in all this? Ireland won!

0 Runs

2007-03-22T04:45:00.000-07:00

God...

This Bud's For You

Calvert DeForest, also known as Larry "Bud" Melman, the odd character featured on David Letterman's nightly show, has died.

0 Points

2007-03-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. RAY

Wilford "Crazy Ray" Jones, who entertained Cowboys fans for decades with his sideline antics and magic tricks has died. Thanks to the hole in the roof in Texas Stadium, he'll be able to watch his favorite team in the afterlife.

There is no truth to the rumor that after his leg had been amputated, due to diabetes complications in 1997, that this Cowboy asked for his nickname to be changed to "Hopalong."

0 Points

2007-03-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

Is He Or Isn't He?

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- NEW YORK (Reuters) - Condolences flowed for comedian Sinbad after the online encyclopedia Wikipedia announced his death Thursday, but it turned out the grieving was premature and the comic was alive and well. The hoax entry said the 50-year-old entertainer, had died of a heart attack on the morning of March 14. The news was quickly picked up by an Internet user who forwarded the e-mail link and prompted widespread mourning.

So while Sinbad may still be alive, his career is most definitely dead.

0 Points

2007-03-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

Richard Jeni, who starred in his own HBO Special titled, "A Big, Steaming Pile of Me," was found in a big, steaming pile after a self-inflicted gun shot to the head. Maybe he was "Crazy From The Heat."

0 Points

******

More Than A Feeling?

Uh-huh. You're Dying!

Brad Delp, the lead singer of legendary rock group Boston has died.

At least now, he'll have his peace of mind.

0 Points

2007-02-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

BEFORE

AFTER

EVERAFTER

2007-02-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

Kiss Her Goodbye

140 Celebrities Selected and Nobody Chose the Most Obvious.

Guess that Trimspa stuff really works!

No change in standings

2007-02-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

AND THEY'RE OFF....

The 2007 Ghoul Pool Is Underway.

Click on the link below right to see your Death Squad.

Standings will be updated as celebrities die.

Good, er, Bad Luck To All!

2007-01-29T17:47:00.000-08:00

Introduces Their Newest Product Line...

It bonds, holds, secures!

The Barbaro

A "Triple Crown" of Adhesive Power

2007-01-28T07:57:00.000-08:00

SEE WHAT BROWN CAN'T DO FOR YOU....

It's been 3 weeks since the hardest working man in show business stopped working. Who will die in 2007? You decide.

Get your list of celebrities to tpr67@msn.com by Sunday 2/4/2007

2007-01-10T17:06:00.000-08:00

Ghoul Pool

2007-01-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

It's back from the dead... The Ghoul Pool!

Send 10 names of celebrities you think will die in 2007 to tpr67@msn.com by Super Bowl Sunday to be in Ghoul Pool 2007.

Be sure to identify your name with your list. We will allow duplicates since we are not having a real time draft.

See Rules On The Right

There will be no money exchanged. This is simply for the love of celebrity death.

Add this site to your favorites and check back for standings and Fauxbituaries.